Back home in my blog…….

7 Mar

I have had a very long absence from the world of blogging. 

 I have had a very long year – already.

Professionally, this will go down in history as one of the most challenging.

Mom and son have both recovered from their January surgeries.  Not long thereafter, the ice storm hits and the world became frozen white.  After that, chaos from which I have still not fully regained order.  Nine days without power doesn’t sound all that bad until it’s YOU going nine days without power.  Add no water into the mix, plus a cold just as the storm hit, the busiest part of my year, and…………………………

We got  a generator, but used it to get the office going.  We operated with 3 computers and 1 printer (if you alternated their use) – NO heat!  (We wore lots of clothing and looked a little like homeless people – didn’t match, didn’t care) We went with no ironing (I ALWAYS iron).  No hair done (the world didn’t come to an end) and almost no makeup (a girls gotta have something).

After 6 days, we got electricity and I did the happy dance—-really!  Still, nothing at home.  One night, after being at work all day without the fireplace on at home, we put on more clothing than I have ever worn at one time, piled on so many covers that we couldn’t move, and went to bed.  We could still see our breath.  Hubby said to just imagine how the pioneers must have lived.  I am no pioneer!  I grumbled, fussed, coughed, sneezed, complained and fumed until one of my employees asked if I was going to do that all year!  A backhoe load of conviction fell on me.  I was in a state of complete joylessness and it was pouring out of my mouth.  We are called to rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS.  Yep, always means always – there is no OUT clause in there.  So, I apologized to God and quit the grumbling. 

 Eventually, we all had power and water and it was time to get back to business as ususal.  There have been many “storm stories”.  Many people pitched in to help a county in distress.  I didn’t realize how bad things had gotten until I recently visited a neighboring county and they were still looking bad.

Desperation began to flood in.  People needing and needing NOW!.  Unfortunately the part of the Federal government that I deal with doesn’t have the word NOW in their training material.  Actually, the word now seem to always be preceeded by the word NOT.

Many issues are effecting our world of business.  A new major bill gets passed—-change! For the first time I am dealing with cases of suspected identity theft (spent two hours on the telephone line figuring  this one out).  Criminal issues of fraud and embezzelment.  What’s up with that?????  I live in Smalltown, USA. This stuff isn’t supposed to come my way. 

In addition – we have our first ever incident of someone secretly requesting aid in getting away from an abusive spouse (the person went to the backroom under the pretense of visiting the bathroom and asked for help.)  Poor thing, bruised and beaten, the abuse was so evident.  How can the world walk past that every day and yet not reach out to help.  Due to confidentially issues with our business, all we could do was give her a number where she could receive shelter.  God please be with her.

Now we are in March.  The season has 39 days left and I don’t feel like I have ever gotten a handle on things.  The burden of the sadness I see is almost more than I can bear at times.  You want to help, you pray, you give where you can but it doesn’t change the way things are.  We have tried to give comfort to the many losses of the year.  Younger and younger, letting me know that time is not what we think it is.  Lord, how much longer???? Our ecomony, our country, our world.

To add another element to my already heavy heart, my oldest announces that he is considering enlisting in the Navy.  My heart exploded with a silent scream.  I ask why? what I hear him not saying is that he wants the challenge.  He wants to prove he is a man. He wants training for the path he has chosen without all the senseless curriculum.  He wants to be able to pay for his own education. 

These are his arguments.  I have only one—–it will break my heart.  I do not know if I can survive it.  I can only pray that he will earnestly seek God’s guidance.  I cannot be selfish.  I cannot force my will.  I cannot even think about it without feeling sick.  I want to cry.

Tomorrow my boys will be home.  I will be so excited to see them.  The oldest doesn’t come home as much anymore.  I will be glad to have him sleeping in his home – forever long he will call it his home.   ooooh, I’ve got to stop that line of writing or I’ll go down a long and winding road that I don’t want to travel tonight.

Big breath………better.  

College boy 1 is watching football with buddies and College boy 2 is at the movies with friends.  Hubby is home with the flu.  I just made homemade chicken soup.  I am going to bed.  Tomorrow will be another day.  One day at a time.  Just enough light for the step I’m on.  He provides all I need as I need it.    Thank you Lord.


6 Responses to “Back home in my blog…….”

  1. Kim March 8, 2009 at 8:24 pm #

    Welcome back to blog land…I have missed you here and in the real world too!!!!!

    You failed to tell me about the Navy thing…shame on you.

    I didn’t see you at church this morning…if you weren’t there then shame on you again.

  2. Kim March 9, 2009 at 11:51 am #

    Ignore part of that last comment…your mom told me last night that you have the flu 😦 I’m glad you were able to get some meds and hope you are feeling better soon!!!!!

    I’m glad I didn’t try to come get you yesterday morning:)

  3. Stacey March 9, 2009 at 3:03 pm #

    I was going to say shame on you for keeping all this to yourself, too! You have lots of shoulders around you to help you carry the weight of the world when it gets too heavy.

    Praying you recovery quickly!

    I miss you! 🙂

  4. Maggie March 12, 2009 at 6:43 pm #

    Well, I guess that answers my email question, doesn’t it?

    Thanks for sharing.

    I enjoyed reading this…somehow puts my world in better perspective to see someone else’s perspective, even though it’s wracked with it’s own pains.

    You know, I know when it’s just too much to put it all in words, I’m blogging less…I can hardly bear to go over my own thoughts enough to risk writing them down sometimes. But, I’m thankful that you found the grace for a moment to do so.

    Grace and peace to you, dear one. You will make it, and you will shine, even as you hurt.

    I hurt the other day that life is not so much the past view most of us used as peaks and valleys as much as a railway with one rail wracked with pain and sorrow and hardship, while the other rail is the beauty of moments, thanksgiving, graces, and joys…a sort of multifaceted approach, and I like it. Rick Warren, I think. So true.

    I’ll see you on the rails.

  5. Maggie March 12, 2009 at 6:43 pm #

    “I heard”…sorry for the typo.

  6. Kimberly April 1, 2009 at 10:39 pm #

    praying for you – even as late as it is in my reading.

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